Jayden A Schumaker
I have thought at length about what you would've wanted for me, the meaning behind the messages you conveyed.
But you were taken quickly, too quickly, from me and everyone. I know your thoughts and feelings were unfinished; that you had much to say, and that you couldn't communicate it all in your time allotted. I feel utterly remorseful. Though, this is not the feeling you would want upon me. It is not the fairytale ending we dreamt of, but I realize you would be inconceivably pissed if I were to stagnate because of it.
It is hard to continue carrying on, but I am glad I got to spend time with you. Snarky, proud, conceited, whatever the hell you want to call it, I miss you. You and your sophisticated sense of humor we shared. Your passions and stories, your monologues and lessons, our quirky games and interactions... All of it.
I can tell you had so much love for me, and you had difficulty expressing it. To be fair, I was a garbage rascal child, and I'm sorry for that, haha.
——But you loved me even so. I wish I were better, for the little time I had with you. If only you were here to see me now; how far I've come from where I started. I hope you would be proud of me, and maybe in good time, you can tell me how so. That's your queue to laugh satirically Dad.
Regardless, you'd want nothing more than for me to succeed and be happy. That much I do know. I wish you could be here to experience it with me, as I know you very much wanted to. With all my heart, I love you so much.
A Merry Christmas Eve to you, Dad, for the last one I missed with you.
And subsequently, a Merry Christmas to all my family in Hawaii.
I am grateful to you all, truly.
Your little rascal,
Jayden Schumaker
